Lynne ydw i

Yearly Archives: 2011

Look at me I’m killing myself

This pisses me off on so many levels “supersizing to be the world’s fattest woman”

Why? As in why it pisses me off not why she’s doing it.

  1. One, she’s  slowly killing herself  in front of her kids. There is absolutely no way you can consume 2000 calories a day and remain healthy. At some point your heart is going to fail because it can’t pump enough blood around your oversized frame.
  2. On who’s fucking dime is she able to stuff 2000 calories in her mouth each day. She’s a single mother and can’t work beacuse she’s…you got it, overweight! So unless her ex husband is filthy rich I’m guessing she’s on public assistance – in other words you, me, us, the public, the taxpayers WE ARE ALL PAYING FOR HER TO GET FATTER AND FATTER.

 

Back up

This is imperative in this day and age. So you’re an infant when it comes to the digital age – fine, stick to pen and paper. When I’m having a major crisis because my phone stopped working for no apparent reason, I don’t want to be stood on line at the Verizon store listening to you ask question upon question about how you transfer your friggin photos from your outdated phone to your new phone.

Your incessant eye fluttering and giggling followed by an ‘how do I do that’ made me want to smack you in your overly made up eyes with your new smart phone. Your phone might be smart, but you’re an idiot. Here’s an idea – read the bloody manual. The guy you were talking too was a sales rep, and although he might know how to do it, it’s not his job to give you step by step instructions, especially when you don’t even know how plug a wire into your phone and connect the other end to the pc. If words like USB port still stump you, you shouldn’t be allowed to own a smart phone. Just because they’re available, doesn’t mean you need one.

Please, Google phrases like ‘synch phone’, ‘drag and drop’, ‘create new folder’ and ‘why am I such a moron?’

Honesty

Two things come to mind when I hear the words “I prefer honesty”

1. Nicholson screaming “you can’t handle the truth” in the movie ‘A few good men’.
2. A Judith Viorst poem I read and analyze with my 4 th grade students ‘Manners’, as follows:

Telling a lie is called wrong.
Telling the truth is called right.
Except when tell the truth is called bad manners
And telling a lie is called polite.

See, some things just don’t need to be brought out into the open. Some things should be handled and sorted out alone. Telling the truth might unburden you, but at the same time hurt someone else or just piss them off.

By all means fight with your conscious over a pot of tea, but learn what needs to be vocalized and what is better left unsaid.

So it’s over

I filed it under kids, but he’s not a kid any more. Today he graduated high school. I’ve said it before and I’m saying it again, ” Where the hell did the years go?”

I feel each milestone reached in his life have taken place in days rather than years. Each one we’ve celebrated with joy and a pat on the back and before we’ve taken a breath were in another auditorium applauding, smiling and crying over another move forward.

Through all our celebrations, this was the anti climax. Not sure what I expected but it was more of a “that’s it?” than the fuzzy all over feeling I thought I’d get. Maybe I expected too much, but yeah, I expected more.

You only get what you put in, and let’s face it, in the 4 yrs he was in high school, he did what he had to do to get a passing grade. So yes, I’ll admit it, I’m a tad pissed off. I wanted to hear his named mentioned, I wanted the speaker to list all the scholarships he earned, but that didn’t happen. I tried to tell him, for 4 yrs I tried. If you can pass without picking up a book, just think what you could accomplish if you studied.

He’s feeling melancholy, what he wished would be over and done with, is, and he’s wishing it wasn’t.

So I’m sorry I’m not in a celebratory mood, I just can’t pat you on the back and say “well done” because you didn’t do high school well as you could have.

School is over bud, today is the beginning of the rest of your life as an adult. You thought being a kid was miserable, wait! This is where you make the really decisions, this is where you no longer put soccer practice before your job. This is where you start competing in the classroom with as much enthusiasm as you compete on the field. This is where your grades DO count, EVERY SEMESTER!

I love you, I have faith in you and I hope you become the man I know you can be.

It’s a Mac

M- my pc won’t connect wirelessly, can you take a look
Moi- that’s not a pc, it’s a Mac
M- can you look
Moi-I don’t do Macs
M- come on ma

Seriously, I haven’t touched a Mac in 6yrs, not since my school gave me an iMac to play with. Took me 20 minutes to figure out – and that entailed an Internet search- how to eject a cd because apple didn’t think it necessary to incorporate a simple thing we in the rest of the world call a BUTTON.

Moi- (tapping the touchpad frantically) is there a magic word I need to use to select an icon?
M- press it down, it clicks
Moi- (eye rolling as it brings back memories of the annoying blackberry storm for some reason) super!

Things to remember – there is no windows key, there is no right click, properties. There’s not much of anything familiar if you don’t do macs. But I trundle on through unfamiliar territory so M doesn’t have to use one of the Gosh, Golly, windows laptops at his disposal…or the super duper desktop in the basement.

Right then….

Moi – give me a hint as to where I might find the network stuff
A brief click by M and poof, a box appears, there’s the network. Wait…

Moi- connect through appleport, Airport airbus, air… Give me my glasses, what is that word? whatever it is we don’t have one.

Ten minutes and I can’t get it to connect. Restate router, reboot Pc …oops, I mean Mac, and still no Internet connection.

M- what’s wrong with it
Moi- it’s a Mac, it’s broken.
M- no it’s not

I wander over to the newer windows laptop and open FFX. The website appears on the screen. I connect my phone wirelessly, even my little ebook loads pages, not to mention my 5 yr old dell laptop. Just for shits and giggles, I try the xbox wireless connection – PERFECT!

Moi- see, nothing wrong with my wireless connection. Maybe all the windows machines are banding together to prevent the Mac from connecting. They don’t like Macs.
M- funny! Can you get it to work
Moi- Sorry, that’s about as much time as I’m willing to spend on your overpriced, Mac book – Call Dwayne
M – so what am I suppose to do?
Moi – There are 5 other, 7 if you count the cell phones, ways to reach the wonderful www in this house. Take your pick.

Silly statement

Said by a fellow teacher I work with on ‘rapture’:

Wow! We are all still here! I can’t wait to tell one of my students who wasn’t sleeping all week that I was right. Nothing to be scared of

I’m thinking the fact that the student and the world are still here is proof that it was nothing to be scared of. You saying anything on the subject would be a moot point.