I should rename this blog to “the irritable bitch that is me” – how do you say that in Welsh anyway?

So I’m in the parking lot at Lowes and nit wit in the hummer is taking up far to much road space. Along comes little car with family inside, taking up the appropriate space in the road and refusing to budge. Nitwit in hummer was forced to hop the curb and of course shouted a few explicits out of the window. I followed, plenty of room since I was too driving a normal sized car.

I parked, was about to exit my normal sized vehicle when nitwit in hummer pulls up along size. Holy mother of God, the entire parking lot and nitwit has to park next to me. It’s like having a friggin tank pull up along side.

Whatever, I exit, but wasn’t quick enough apparently nitwit in the hummer hadn’t finish ranting.

“did you see that, did you see that, I had to go up on the curb to avoid that idiot, did you see where he parked?”

I quickly looked around, hoping beyond all hope nitwit wasn’t addressing me, I only wanted to run in and get some molding.

Alas, twas me nitwit was blabbering to.

“Some people, I’m going to have to take my car to the garage tomorrow, the wheels are probably all out of alignment”

I snorted, I couldn’t stop myself, it was an involuntary sound it just came out. It’s the kind of snort one makes when they’re trying desperately not to laugh at the pure lunacy of nitwit.

“Excuse me?” said nitwit indignantly

I was forced to respond.

“Look”, says me “that is not a car, you’re driving a hummer. It was built to crush small villages in war-torn areas. Haven’t you seen the commercials, apparently it can scale a 65% incline. I seriously doubt you knocked your wheels out of alignment and if you did, ask for a refund. If you’re not aware of your vehicle’s capabilities perhaps you should consider a small car and do us all a favor by allowing us to drive around parking lots without fear of you infringing on our side of the road – have a nice day”

And as I turned to leave – “You probably swerve around tiny little pot holes as well don’t you?

I walked off, leaving nitwit trying to scrape his chin off the tarmac.