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House Elf
Posted
on Friday, January 2nd, 2004 at 4:34 pm
I’ve had one of these for some time now. He’s the same elf (and I say he, because no woman would steal such useless items) who constantly steals one sock from a pair, then delivers then back to me once I’ve bought all new.
Now the little bugger has moved onto other things — sunglasses, chap sticks, pens, you name it, if it’s small and movable it disappears.
I have 5 pairs of sunglasses but can only ever find one pair at a time. As soon as I lose a pair, another shows up in a place I swear I looked at a hundred times. He’s been playing this perverse little game with me for as long as I remember. Evertime I find a pair, I know it’s pointless looking for the pair I wore the previous day. I can feel his beady little eyes watching me, and know he’s behind some piece of furniture laughing uncontrollably.
I have bought numerous chap sticks, but as quick as I buy them they mysteriously disappear. Fuck knows what the little bugger uses them for, maybe it’s elf food, who knows, but unlike the sunglasses they disappear never to be seen from again.
If I only knew his true size I could leave out the appropriate trap, but leaving out a bag of TNT would be overkill if he’s the size of a mouse.
Filed under Witty & Stupid |6 Responses to “House Elf”
Sounds to me like you have a spirit or something in the house.
rofl…sounds like my house with lighters and pens. I swear I’ve bought dozens and dozens and can’t find a one… until I don’t need it!
Dude, I think I have the same kind of elf in the house, only mine likes to take brand new t-shirts as well as pens and chapsticks. And I think he just took my prescription pair of sunglasses, cuz I can’t seem to find them anymore.
If he’s a house-elf, he needs to go. But if he’s an elf like Legolas… ;)
That elf looks like Putin. ;)
Have i ever told you how much i adore you? You are crackin me UP!!! write on! Oh and a trick regarding the house elf… put all those small things in the same place as soon as you walk in the door (like a small drawer) you’ll find he loses interest when he sees you are keeping your things together- LOLOLOL
@ fiona
I’m flattered, tks. :)