Re-sock sage
Thanks to my wonderful mailman, who went out of his way to track my packagedown, my son’s Baltimore ravens socks arrived this morning.

However, according to the Tracking infoSomething is still on route to NJ.

Update – 4:22pm, Jan 3rd, the tracking page has finally caught up with the package.

I’ve had one of these for some time now. He’s the same elf (and I say he, because no woman would steal such useless items) who constantly steals one sock from a pair, then delivers then back to me once I’ve bought all new.

Now the little bugger has moved onto other things — sunglasses, chap sticks, pens, you name it, if it’s small and movable it disappears.

I have 5 pairs of sunglasses but can only ever find one pair at a time. As soon as I lose a pair, another shows up in a place I swear I looked at a hundred times. He’s been playing this perverse little game with me for as long as I remember. Evertime I find a pair, I know it’s pointless looking for the pair I wore the previous day. I can feel his beady little eyes watching me, and know he’s behind some piece of furniture laughing uncontrollably.

I have bought numerous chap sticks, but as quick as I buy them they mysteriously disappear. Fuck knows what the little bugger uses them for, maybe it’s elf food, who knows, but unlike the sunglasses they disappear never to be seen from again.

If I only knew his true size I could leave out the appropriate trap, but leaving out a bag of TNT would be overkill if he’s the size of a mouse.